Tuesday, June 14, 2011

this story is dedicated to you.
maybe we are still searching for ourselves,
but somehow, we will see the light.

Matthew sat on the grass. He could not take the pressure anymore. He stared right out at the field. A small breeze blew and there were leafs drifting with the wind. It was peaceful, the whole scene was peaceful, a total opposite of what was in his mind.

He wanted to scream, wanted to run, wanted to let out everything in his mind, but he just sat there. He just sat on the grass staring straight out, listening to the breeze. His life was practically falling apart.

He felt his hands clenched together. He knew he needed it, but his will power was not giving up so easily. Matthew touched his pocket for the pack of cigarette he just bought. He needed to inhale in to escape from all of this. He remembered Valerie, his best friend. She was the one trusted in him, believed in him that he will change for the better by quitting smoking. Matthew wanted to quit too, but he was not strong enough. He could see disappointment in Valerie's eyes when he failed for the uncountable times and inhale into the cigarette.

He could feel his head was about to blow up because of this battle within himself. He took out a cigarette. This will be my last. He thought. He lit it up and inhaled in it. It had been 9 days since he last smoked. He felt his lungs heat up as the smoke went in and slowly, he exhaled out the smoke.

I will quit this addiction, eventually.

hope, don't we all are searching for it,
put faith in it and we will find it eventually.
redemption is what we all need,
but to be save, we need to save ourselves first.

my role? i'm still finding out where i should stand,
but i am willing to listen to you.
i am willing to be your friend.
whenever you need a friend to talk to,
i will be there, just so you know.

don't ever lose hope, you will see the light.

stepping away from reality.

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