[MEMORIES] *stepping away from reality.

*really sorry for not posting for so long, quite busy with life...

MY LIFE'S WRECK!

fail to perform in sports,

no mood for studying...

seems like the past few days flew by without accomplishing much. My mind is blank (it's not a good thing). All started out with the Malaysia's chinese private school volleyball competition. F that volleyball teacher! Headmaster said that all 12 players in the team can go to Perak for that competition, but why does that F teacher say only 9 of the team members can go? It's not fair. I admit that i'm not the better players there, i might not get chose. But i really want to go! it's like an experience that i might never expected (same as MSSM). I want to get that experience, this type of experience can't be bought!
My bowling is almost the same, my mistake still hasn't be fully changed but i'm on the way...I want it to work out! I want to win a title, win a medal, win some money, win a prize, to let people know Ian Tan is the one you should watch out. I really want all this!
It feels like giving out so many hardwork but get nothing in return. It so damn sucks! I went for practice (volleyball n bowling), i tried hard but nothing seems to show some results. I want to be in a world that nothings seems to matter, because life ain't fair! Life doesn't reward much, unless you work for it (left out the part where it reward you lesser than you work for). I wish to really really really succeed in bowling and volleyball. I will give more efford to it. I'm tired from all this.
I want to sit down somewhere far away and let time pass.
I want to scream till lungs burst.
It's really painful looking at all this.
I am so damn blank. Don't know what to do, looking at my room's wall. Listening to my alarm clock time. Life's isn't fair!
Why do some people don't have to go training so much day and 100% going to the competition? (volleyball)
Why do some people started learning later than me and playing a much more higher score? (bowling)
If i'm not going to the volleyball competition, this holiday might be quite boring. I really want to go, but i'm not the one who dicides it.
On 16/8 i can stay at home do nothing.
On 17/8 i can go shopping
On 18/8 i can play piano n ps2 n com the whole day
On 19/8 i can go my grandmother house n chat with ee von
On 20/8 i can go da kei with loong ann
On 21/8 i can chat more with ee von
On 22/8 i can go gua tempurung.
On 23/8 i can go penang
On 24/8 i can prepare for school
haiz...if i'm not going to the competition, this is my plans, you can book my time. damn i don't want this schedule! I want to go that competition! My emotional is stable, might breakdown anytime.
I hate this. I'm mentally tired to think abou it anymore. I'm all alone.
Now sitting at home alone becaus whole family went dinner without me.
sorry i wasted your time.

i 'm blank.